Why I like Linux more than Windows

Making black instant coffee

The Linux way

cat water.tap > /dev/kettle
echo 1 > /proc/sys/kettle/power
touch coffee.cup
JAR=`find /home/kitchen/cupboard/* *java*`
head -c $JAR > coffee.cup
while [ ! /proc/sys/kettle/boiled ];do;sleep 5;done
dd if=/proc/sys/kettle/spout of=coffee.cup bs=5ml count=50
exit
drink coffee

The Windows Way

open Coffee Wizard
choose basic wizard option
click next
scroll past eula
tick "Accept EULA" check box
enter your username
enter password
click next
wait for authentication
enter username again
enter password again slowly
click next
wait for authentication
select auto search for mug
select auto search for kettle
click next
curse and swear pointing out kettle with finger
click back
select kettle and watch mug being deselected
try to select mug again, but no longer appearing in list
click back
click back
click back
select advanced wizard option
click next
scroll past eula
tick "Accept EULA" check box
enter your username
enter password slowly
click next
enter administrator username
enter administrator password
browse for kettle file
browse for mug file
fail to fing mug file
search for mug file in windows explorer and find in "My Kitchen"
return to Coffee Wizard and browse to "My Kitchen"
select "show all files"
click on coffee.cup
click next
call Microsoft Technical Support
wait for 2 hours in queue
Close wizard
Open wizard
select advanced wizard option
click next
scroll past eula
tick "Accept EULA" check box
enter administrator username
enter administrator password
browse for kettle file
browse for mug file
explain to support technician about file being in there
open file using notepad
read contents line by line to technician
open regedit
set HKLM\Current Control Set\System\Microsoft\coffeecup\allowothercup => "1"
reboot computer
restart Coffee Wizard Advanced Wizard
curse at "Error, cannot find Water v2.0 SP1" error
Walk to Starbucks

Typing with guantlets

There's a reason touch typing is called as such. You press the keys through touch, much like a guitarist positions his fingers for chords out of practice and muscle memory.

I like to think that it also refers to the mechanism you use in typing. Touching the keys to depress them. It's amazing to hear people typing from the far side of the room, even worse when you happen to be sitting next to them.

I call them Keyboard Barbarians they seem to require bashing away at the keyboard to get the letters upon screen.

"RAWR I'M TYPING, CAN YOU SEE ME TYPE RAWR"

Not only is it annoying, it's also breaking the keyboard. If you think you are a Keyboard Barbarian, please stop.

Monit - Every admin's little gem

I recently have taken over from a past admin, that set up a number of systems then moved on, leaving the CTO in charge of the systems (woe is me).

So there is a small clustered system, and it appears one of the services is a touch unstable, and the cluster isn't detecting the failure, the solution put in place, make the cluster failover once in a while to restart the services.

Now I just can't figure this out. First, the admin in question had set it to restart the heartbeat (seriously bad idea) on the running active server. So the non-active server starts up the service.
Where did he get that bright idea from. Also the fact of this bludgeoning method. So I start looking round for the method to monitor and manage the cluster. It appears there isn't, the config runs, the heartbeat watches for the server to fail but no actual management. Poor D- for you.

So I look to an old friend, Monit. A simple daemon on the server that can monitor services, files, free space and either alert or restart the service or other things. Simples.

So on it pops and off we go, most Linux distributions have a copy, alternatively the likes of RPMFusion will provide binaries.

Things you need to make sure you setup,

Set an email server
set mailserver <yourhostmailserver or localhost>

Set alert emails
set alert <youremailhere>

Rather than putting your entire config in one file (because it's just plain confusing, or perhaps that's what you like)

Set config file directory
include /etc/monit.d/*

I would recommend this location, because it's a sensible name and we all like being sensible, don't we children.

So in /etc/monit.d/myborkedservice I have the following

check process with pidfile /location/of/pidfile
start program = "/etc/init.d/borkedservice start"
stop program = "/etc/init.d/borkedservice stop"

The system will automatically alert (via the email) on either a failure or a changed pid (i.e the process has restarted)

On the none active server I have the additional line

mode passive

This alerts but does not actually restart the service. When I figure out how to get this to work with HA I'll post again. however, I am going to presume there is a better method (like getting the borkservice(tm) to work and/or HA properly working)

Wasting Time

I have recently joined a new company, and I know there has been a few issues with trust and time wasting. But just as much of my time is wasted.by being locked off certain things. As the systems administrator, I need access to about everything. I wasted a shed load today by not being able to get hold of certain downloads because torrents are evil.
No torrents are not evil, illegal file sharing is.

Working with colleagues

Life can be stressful. Work can induce a lot of stress for people, especially when you asked to take on problems you have little control over. So regaining control is important to reducing your stress.
Communicate with your colleagues, use simple clear instructions and sentencing. Waffle and indeterminate expression may save some feelings, but it does not help. This is business get things fixed, make the time for socialization over coffee at other times.
Use sensible limestone of communications. Email is not suited to discussion. If you are giving multiple people information or instructions, but require for everyone to know what is going on, make sure each person knows the bits they are responsible for.
Never email some who sits next to you for a rant, if you have some issues. Either talk or if you are unble to talk instant message.
If you are under strain, ask for help, sensible help, make clear what you need, and thank them afterwards. Keep and amend those instructions for next time.
As an admin your job is a bunch of procedures, that hopefully you can put onto a junior. Find those procedures, get someone else to do them, then find a quiet corner to drink your coffee or play with something fun.

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Making things complex

System complexity has little to do with the nuts and bolts of an application.
Take for instance the use of the modern car. You can literally have a start/stop button, the steering wheel and the gas and brake pedals and no other control is necessary to rum the car. Gear changing, lights, wipers are all automatic in higher end cars.
So the fact there maybe 10th individual software apps underneath mean nothing to most administrators of a system. If it has a simple operation and a sensible setup then the system is not complex.
Which brings me to my second point. The last thing you need to care about with a system is wondering if you are on the right one.  A half broken system is worse than a broken one. Trying to work around "features" is so annoying I would rather not use it at all. Even worse is working around self induced issues.
Maintain what you have more than work on new systems you have, and stand on your principles if those that be tell you to do otherwise.
And thus ends today's lesson

New job again

I must be an ill contented person. I have changed jobs many many times. Is it so hard to expect to find a decent workplace these days. It is not as if I am looking for am increasing wage, I have often moved for less.
Some respect, a comfortable working environment (I.e somewhere they can keep toilet roll in stock), and a job that you actually get to do and some acknowledgment of a good job.
Now I am not talking constant reminders of what good little engineers we are, but when we pull it out the bag at the last minute, a "thank you" would be nice.
The previous place I was at, we were finally offered to be taken out as a thank-you for a real big ask of our skills. Two months later I left. No meal. Apparently still no meal talking to those left behind.

So the lesson is think of your minions, they give what you put in.

More updates to come, I commute on public transport so more time to blog.

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